7 years ago, I was in a spiral.
My mothering instincts were on high alert. I knew what was best for my son — and it wasn’t being taken out of school in Year 9 to go to the UK with his dad.
I knew his progress at school would suffer. I knew his health and well-being would take a hit.
But because we shared custody, I had far less say over these decisions than I wanted. And I was furious — not just a bit irritated — full-body, shake-with-anger furious.
Furious with his dad for leaning on our son for emotional support, instead of prioritising his needs. Furious that my perspective as a mother was disregarded. Furious that I had so little influence over a decision that impacted our son’s wellbeing so deeply.
And while I was venting to a close friend and coaching peer, she gently smiled and said, “Do you think this might be a backlash?”
And suddenly it hit me.
Of course it was a backlash!
The Gift Hiding Inside the Backlash
Just the week before, I’d done something brave in my business. I’d recorded and uploaded some videos — sharing my voice in a new, more visible way. I was proud of myself. I’d expanded.
And then… this curveball.
As soon as I named it for what it was — a backlash — my body softened. I actually started laughing.
Of course it manifested through my son’s dad. He’d been the carrier of my backlashes for years!
And as the emotion released, something unexpected happened:
I saw the gift.
If my son was away with his dad for 2 weeks… I was free to travel.
That meant I could actually fly to the UK to surprise my family and attend my Dad’s 90th birthday party — something I’d been grieving missing.
Within days, a plan was in motion. I booked a direct flight, surprised my family, and celebrated with my dad in person. It was deeply meaningful. One of those moments I’ll never forget.
All because of the backlash.
What Is a Backlash?
A backlash is what happens when you expand beyond your subconscious “set point” — the internal limit of how good, powerful, successful, joyful, or loved you believe you’re allowed to be.
You stretch.
You grow.
You shine.
And then suddenly… life throws a wobble. An emotional storm. A conflict. Exhaustion. Self-doubt. Chaos. Sometimes even illness.
It can feel like being pulled back down by an invisible force.
But it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong.
It’s because your old programming — the one that says “you’re not safe at this level” — is trying to reassert control.
It’s your nervous system or inner Protector flaring up in response to perceived risk.
And while it can feel like the sky is falling… it’s often a sign you’ve just made a quantum leap.
Real Life Example: When the High is Followed by a Low
This happened for one of my beautiful clients just last week.
At the start of our session, she was feeling nervous about an upcoming recording session for her music. It was something deeply personal — and past experiences had left her anxious.
We worked together to clear the fears, release the old stories, and realign her energy. By the end, she felt lighter, more excited, and ready to show up fully.
And then… a few days later, I received a message.
Her recording session had gone incredibly. She’d created something magical with her producer and felt truly fulfilled.
But… afterwards, everything else fell apart. She felt awful, overwhelmed, and completely out of alignment.
A classic backlash.
Where I First Learned About the Backlash
I first heard this phenomenon described as a Backlash or Backward Spiral during my training with Margaret Lynch Raniere, the creator of the Tapping Into Wealth system. It was a total lightbulb moment for me.
She explained how when we take a powerful step forward in life — whether it’s in our business, creativity, relationships, or visibility — it often triggers a backlash of our old programming that says:
“No. You can’t be this powerful. You’re not allowed to have this much.”
And unless we name it, that backlash can spiral us right back into fear, sabotage, and shame — especially if it touches a deeper wound around worth, safety, or identity.
This is why I now offer Tapping Into Wealth as one of my core services. It includes powerful tools like the Backward Spiral Healing & Sabotage Process, which helps you clear these patterns at the root — not just manage the symptoms.
In fact, all of the modalities I utilise within the work I offer — whether it’s Human Design, Voice Dialogue, EFT Tapping or energy healing — is ultimately about dissolving the old identity that holds you back and creating space for your next-level self to emerge.
Why Do Backlashes Happen?
It’s all about your inner set point, like an inner thermostat — the level of success, visibility, abundance, love or joy that feels “safe” or familiar to your subconscious mind.
When you reach beyond that set point, your system panics a little.
It says: “Wait — we’ve never been here before. This isn’t familiar. What if we get rejected? What if we fail? What if we lose it all?”
And so it creates a backlash — not to punish you, but to protect you.
It’s your old identity trying to survive.
But here’s the good news…
You Can Change Your Set Point
In the Quantum Human Design system, we talk about building your inner foundations through the Resiliency Keys — qualities like:
- Self-Worth
- Vitality
- Emotional Wisdom
- Courage
- Lovability
- Self-Trust
Each time you strengthen one of these keys, your inner set point rises.
You expand your capacity to hold more — more joy, more peace, more prosperity — without getting thrown off course.
I explored a similar theme in this earlier blog post, where I shared how even Human Design — a tool that’s meant to be empowering — can trigger deep feelings of inadequacy when it confronts our inner programming.
But that discomfort isn’t a problem. It’s part of the process.
It means you’re evolving.
What to Do When a Backlash Hits
If you’ve been in a roller coaster of progress followed by emotional chaos, ask yourself:
- Could this be a backlash?
- Have I just stretched beyond what’s familiar?
- What old pattern is trying to reassert itself?
- What new level am I being invited to integrate?
Then:
✅ Breathe.
✅ Ground yourself.
✅ Tap (if that’s your thing — it is definitely mine).
✅ Speak to a coach or trusted friend who gets it.
✅ Give yourself grace.
Most importantly: Don’t make it mean you did something wrong.
You didn’t sabotage your success.
You didn’t manifest the chaos.
You just outgrew a version of yourself.
And the backlash is part of the integration process.
In Summary
✨ A backlash is a natural part of growth.
✨ It happens when you exceed your inner set point.
✨ It’s not a failure — it’s feedback.
✨ You can raise your set point by strengthening your inner foundations.
✨ Naming the backlash is the first step to clearing it.
✨ You’re not broken — you’re evolving.
Ready to clear your inner backlash and rise to your next level?
If you’re in a wobble, caught in the aftermath of a backlash, or feeling like your inner set point is keeping you small — let’s talk.
I offer a range of transformational services — including Quantum Human Design Readings, Tap Into Wealth, Sacred Entrepreneurship and Intuitive Energy Work — to help you clear old programming and expand your capacity to thrive.
💬 Book a free 30-minute Connection Call with me. We’ll explore what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how I can support you in integrating your next expansion with more ease, flow and self-trust.
👉 Click here to book your free Connection Call
Let’s shift the pattern, so your next breakthrough doesn’t get followed by a breakdown.
You’ve got this. And I’ve got you. 💛
I’ll leave you with this photo — a cherished memory from my dad’s 90th birthday, made possible thanks to an unexpected twist in the story.
